I don’t believe in God like I once did. Instead of being my Father he has become a distant concept I’d rather not face. I’m too lost and alone to understand Love. How I long for the days of unrelenting faith. No matter the circumstances. No matter the doubts. What must I do to inherit eternal life? I’m afraid I don’t know anymore. I want God but I don’t want God. What have I become? What has brought me on this path? Sin and distraction. It is clear the seed has fallen amongst the thorns. Yet I am so choked by these thorns that I don’t see a way out. Or rather I don’t believe there is a way out. I guess my desperate prayer to this distant concept called God is a prayer to overcome my unbelief. Somehow. Someway. Because I recognize my need. And I probably should be very grateful for this feeling of need because I think this feeling of need is hope. And isn’t that what we all need? Hope. In this confusing chaotic place.
Posts Tagged ‘belief’
Hope
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged belief, Christianity, doubt, faith, God, hope, love, prayer, spirituality on May 3, 2020| Leave a Comment »