Archive for May, 2014

My Christ, I am Pilate. What is truth? I cannot find it in this place. I look around and see the meaninglessness of it all: the chasing after money and fame and whatever else catches the eye. I become trapped in it. I think if I just have this or do this I will finally find my purpose. And I attain and attain, but I soon discover none of it satisfies. This world is a shadow of the real. I read your words and come close to the truth, but I cannot fully grasp it. So why am I here? Why are we all here? You are the hinge of history. Everything and everyone depends on you. I cannot believe you are a lunatic. I cannot believe you are a liar. I have to believe you are Lord. But why can I not be with you now? Why must I be stuck in this world between worlds where questions are never answered? My soul longs for you as the smoke and mirrors of this place lead me astray. False promises are my gods, but strip back the surface and I find nothing. Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless! Can you not comeback, Christ? What are you waiting for? I need you. I want you. You are the author. You are the truth. And I reluctantly crucify you.


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